Terrible Father's Day Gift Ideas for Desperate Sons and Daughters

  • Archaic Razor
  • Beer Soap
  • Classic Straight Razor
  • Book

As Father's Day is just round the corner it is high time to think about what you will present to him this year and figure it out fast.  And this is the biggest problem as he can buy for himself everything he needs and you don't want to load him with another pointless fishing gadget or a new tie he will never wear. To help you decide what to present to your dad this year we thought about the most terrible Father's Day ideas and we hope that after reading this article you will arrive at the right decision.  

1. Let's think about what dads do every day. Well, they wake up and … shave. Well, you might think about purchasing an archaic razor that costs $200, but your dad should know how to use it properly not to cut himself with one of those. Or maybe he will like this handsome shaving bowl he can use when he wants to shave somewhere outside the bathroom, on the porch, for example. Or perhaps he would like a collection of beer-scented soaps? Probably not, if you don't want your dad to come out of the shower smelling like beer. No, that's enough. Last year after hours of scanning through Father's Day gift suggestions you presented him that one-handed bottle opener which is practically impossible to use. If you're not going to make the same mistake again you need to think about something your dad will really like and need.

2. Suppose your dad likes baseball. But getting him game tickets or a signed baseball is too expensive. Think about what's hot in baseball now. After a quick search you'll discover that one of the latest trends in modern baseball is the increasing application of sabermetrics. SO you could present him the book Reasoning with Sabermetrics: Applying Statistical Science to Baseball's Tough Questions which will give him a real edge when he talks with his friends about his favorite game.

3. Perhaps your father is interested in war history. But as you know absolutely nothing about the war he is into the chances of finding meaningful scholarship on or remarkable objects from this war are next to nothing. So why not get him something about a war he also knows nothing about and delve into a war neither of you are interested in together.

4. Or maybe your dad loves to barbecue. This is an easy task: instead of presenting another apron, or some novelty tongs, or flavorless rubs, why not just get a chicken, and go kill it in your dad's backyard, and give it to him to barbecue. There's nothing like freshly killed chicken, right? After all, it is so popular among hipsters. He's got to like it too.

Oh no, all these ideas are terrible. Are you at a loss? Maybe you'd better think about something funny? I don't mean a gag gift because they are not something off-beat. I mean something literally funny. Let's say something about Father's Day, like a nicely framed print of that? No, that's definitely the worst idea. That would be a complete lack of imagination.

All this is totally impossible. Honestly, I begin to understand why dads don't seem to want anything. Because they just don't need most of these things which are just straight garbage. Maybe we'll just go to the driving range and hit some golf balls. That's always a nice thing to do. No, that's too weak. The gift should be really special, as we live in the 21st-century USA. And I will get him this.